We are all American

I have a love/hate relationship with politics. I love that I live in a country where I have the freedom and ability to make my own political decisions and cast my vote accordingly. I hate that it is so divisive. 2012 is a big year. It's a leap year, the summer Olympics will be held later this month in London, and it is an election year for those of us in this country.
The political ads have already started. Misinformation, mudslinging, downright lies...these will invade our print, our computers, our televisions, until November. It's so frustrating to sort through all the information to find the truth, and then to decide who to vote for. And perhaps more frustrating is dealing with the incredible amount of negativity from both parties. Nobody is willing to accept blame. Nobody is willing to compromise. Nobody is willing to step out of party lines. I am just as guilty as anyone I suppose. I see a "Romney" bumper sticker and I cringe. I get angry because I make all kinds of assumptions about anybody voting for Romney despite the fact that I know many good and wonderful people who will, in fact, be voting for him.
And the beauty of this is, and what I have to remember is, we are all Americans. We are all responsible for this country, and we are all held in obligation to it. It doesn't matter if you're a Republican, a Democrat, a Libertarian, Independent, or I-Don't-Give-A-Crap, this is still your country. This is your home. I don't care what ethnicity you are, what gender you are, what gender you want to be, who you spend your nights with, or what God(dess) you worship.
As Americans it is up to us to steer this ship. We do that by casting our ballots, by talking to our friends, family, neighbors, people in the check-out line. Listening to one another, listening to different view points. Arguing, debating, disagreeing, agreeing, compromising. We must find common ground, a place to work from. As it stands we keep getting farther and farther apart and it is harder to truly hear one another. To really be open to another viewpoint. It's too heated, too emotional. If we cannot remember that we are all in this together then we are doomed to fail. A house divided cannot stand and I think at no time since the Civil War has this been more true. We are a house divided. We are a people divided. Where is our common ground? Where is our common purpose? How do we shape our future? We must find the answers to these questions, and find a way to overcome our differences.
We will not find that in lies, in fear, in half-truths. Demand honesty. Demand integrity. Demand responsibility. Demand humility. You have the power to change the course of history. You have the power, all of it. It is your voice that counts. Do not for a second believe that your vote does not matter, that you must remain silent in the face of overwhelming corruption, deceit, fear-mongering. No party is guiltless. No candidate is above reproach. Demand better. Speak up. Let your voice be heard. Write letters, march, have an honest conversation. Vote. Above all, vote.
This country is capable of great things. We went to the moon. We created a free democracy in a time when people were ruled by kings and tyrants. We carved out a home where all people are welcome, of all faiths, of all ethnic backgrounds, of all cultures. United under one flag, one name. We are all Americans. We can move mountains. But we must reach out to one another in respect and love. Differences of opinion are nothing in the face of the American spirit and fire and passion. Do not let yourselves be distracted, do not be dissuaded, do not settle for easy answers and slick evasions. Ask the tough questions, demand the real answers. Be strong. Be courageous. Be American.

Judgment...mine and others.

I think two of the thorniest passages in the Bible (does that have to be capitalized? bible?) is Matthew 7:1 or Luke 6:37 "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven." It may be one of the hardest things we are asked to do. Do not judge, do not condemn. Forgive. I don't know about you..but I judge all the time. I condemn people for choices and decisions that "I" would not make. But how can I know? What right do I have?

Here's why. I am not that person. I do not have any idea what they're dealing with. I don't know their past. I know nothing about them other than what they show me. Where do I get off making any kind of judgment about their life or their choices? I know all get all kinds of angry when someone dares to make judgments about my life or my choices. That's when I pull out the verses above and say mind your own business. But how often do I do the same thing?

Recently I've come up against a few situations that I have immediately snapped to judgment on. Admittedly they are things that I probably shouldn't know anyway, but the indiscretion of others concerning their own personal lives doesn't give me the right to pass judgment or condemn others for their choices. Just because I have chosen to make a different decision does not necessarily mean that I'm automatically in the right. I'd like to think so, of course. We all would like to think that we're in the right, that we have the answers, that we know best. Well, newsflash here, but no. We don't. Sorry. All we can do is make the best decision for us with the information we're given.

Now, there are plenty of things that I think people shouldn't do. But if they make the choice to do them, who am I to judge? I'm sure I make plenty of decisions that people find questionable. I know I do. But really, that's between me, the people involved, and God. If I want people to mind their own business, I should take my own advice. Mind my own business. Offer help, support, advice, and above all, love. Help and support should be a given. Advice, well...if it's asked for. Love, always. Always offer love. It can make all the difference in the world. And it's all we're asked to do in the first place.

Mother's Day-2012

I love Mother's Day. I've loved it every year since I first became a mother 5 years ago. Partially because I'm spoiled and I like to have people do things for me but also because I love the opportunity to really just relax and enjoy my family. Often I get so wrapped up in the every day busy busy busy that I forget to take time and just enjoy being a mom. It's so easy to forget that all this lasts just moments and then my kids are going to be grown and off busy with their own lives.
On this day I like to take a moment to just take stock and think about the year past. It has been a busy year. It's our second Mother's Day with Teddy, our fifth Mother's Day with Brian. The last year has been very hectic. We've hardly slowed down it seems. School, for both Brian and me. His first year of pre-k has been wonderful, but is drawing to a close. We're looking toward Kindergarten this fall. Teddy is walking, chattering away (nobody knows what about though).
As a mom...well. I think I've been distracted. I've been busy. Maybe I've been too short and impatient and cranky. But I've also tried to be encouraging. I've tried to be loving. It's been a rough year in a lot of ways. We have had to make a lot of adjustments. I think we're finding an equilibrium though. Now that Teddy is becoming more independent it's getting easier to spend time with Brian. The sibling rivalry might kill me, but it's also sweet and wonderful to see them play together. Teddy loves his big brother to pieces. I think Brian is still not sure what to do with his brother and often gets a little out of control playing. But he loves his brother, too.
All in all...I think we're doing ok. As short on patience, and sleep, as I have been we're still managing to get by. It's going ok. And I think, as good as last year was, this one will be better.

A warrior with nothing to fight...

I'm a fighter. I am all for love, compassion, understanding, etc., but when it comes to it, I'm a fighter. Give me bad news, I want to fight. Argue with me, and my  hands ball into fists. Make me mad enough, and I might lash out. When someone I love is hurting, I want to hurt whatever it is back. Maybe it's genetics, there is a fairly significant proportion of Scots-Irish genes in there. I wouldn't discount the temper I got from my dad's side of the family either. In a lot of ways I like my fighting spirit. It gives me an edge, a backbone when I'm blindsided by something, the will to stand up and fight for what I believe in.
Of course, when someone I love is sick, or in the hospital, and there's not a real culprit to go after, I feel helpless. I feel impotent. It makes me angry. And it is supremely frustrating when I feel like there is nothing I can do to help.
This has been a very, very frustrating week. My grandmother had surgery and they've been having trouble managing her pain. She's doing ok, but there's nothing I can do to help her feel better. Nothing to fight, nothing to do but wait and pray and worry.
A good friend found out that her husband's cancer is incurable, inoperable, and there's nothing left for them to do. He's going home to die. She is understandably devastated. And I feel helpless. There is nothing I can do for her. And I want to do something.
I want something tangible I can fight. Something physical I can do. I hate just waiting and praying. It doesn't seem fair. I feel like there should be more I can do, and when the answer is pray...it sometimes doesn't feel like enough.
It seems like I don't put a lot of faith in God, but that's not true. I do. God is always listening, always with us. God hears everything. God hears us when we ask for things. Sometimes I just don't like the answer. Sometimes I want the answer I want, and I don't get it. Like all children, I want my way and I'm prone to tantrums when I don't get it. So I pray. I may be mad. I may be asking why. I may be questioning. But I pray. I talk. I yell. I cry. And God hears all of it, and sends back the answer and maybe I like it, maybe I don't. But I keep the conversation going. And when I have nothing to fight, nothing physical to do, maybe I'll clean the kitchen instead.
Maybe I'll stand there attacking a stubborn spot and asking why can't I do more, and maybe the answer is because I've done all I can with my limited means, and the rest of it is a job for somebody bigger, and older, and wiser than me.
I give my son that answer a lot. You aren't old enough. You aren't ready to do that. You've done what you can. He's a tough kid. I'm a tough kid. Being a tough kid doesn't always mean that there's something you need to do. Sometimes it means that you have to be strong enough to let it go. To accept that what you want isn't what is going to happen. Not my will. Not my way. I still don't like it. But I'm working on accepting it.

Another year...

This last week was quite busy for our little family.  First, Brian, our oldest, turned 5 on March 8. We celebrated with a big family party on the 9th and then took him bowling on the 10th. Watching Brian's journey from tiny baby to 5 has been pretty remarkable. It's hard to believe sometimes that he is only 5, and at other times that he's already 5. It's hard to remember what life was like without him, but time has also just flown by. I think back on big events in his life and realize that what seems like yesterday was really 2 or 3 years ago...or more. He is now an articulate, thoughtful, goofy, wild, loud, curious, smart little boy. He'll be heading off to Kindergarten in the Fall and I'm not sure I'm ready for that, although I know he is. He is tough, and smart, and also incredibly thoughtful and sensitive and sweet. I pray that he keeps his tenderness and his sweetness, through all the roughness of school and life. He is growing into a wonderful little man, and it really is my privilege and my joy to be part of his journey.

Second, today (March 16) is Teddy's birthday. He turned 1, and I am having a hard time dealing with it. I think I've been in a bit of denial all day. My little baby, who a year ago at this time was just about 34 minutes from making his debut (it is 9:15), is now 1. We were still waiting to meet him and find out who he was and what kind of person he was going to be. A year in and we know that he is sweet, snuggly, funny, opinionated, shy, loving, and tiny. He is my little peanut, which I think makes it harder to believe that he is already 1. It's hard to believe that it has been a year since I was in labor, a year since he came into the world. I remember all the anticipation, all the frustration with false labor and braxton hicks contractions. The hope that this time was THE time, and the disappointment when it wasn't. And the final, slightly dramatic entrance of my second son into the world. And the discovery that from the minute he was born he was not the same at all as his older brother. They were similar in looks, but it ended there. Where Brian was alert, and curious, and go-go-go from the second he was born, his Teddy was sleepy, and mostly wanted to just snuggle and sleep. He had the most concerned look on his face right after birth. Not angry, but just kind of worried. And he has been more of a worrier, and less secure, and less open to new things and people, but has always, always been snuggly, and sweet.

So here's to another fun, and crazy, and frustrating, and wonderful year watching my boys grow.



Free will, choices, creation and God

I try to avoid the news generally. Not much good is ever reported, and usually a whole lot of bad. Lately a few things have been making the news that even I haven't been able to ignore. But before I get into that, I'm going to preface it with a few comments about what I believe in the way of God, free will, and choice.
I believe that from the beginning of creation we were granted by our creator the ability to make choices, whether good or bad. I feel there is some solid scriptural evidence for this. God did put the forbidden fruit in the garden with the instruction to leave it alone, but left us with the ability to walk up the tree and choose to have a piece. If he had not intended us to have the ability to choose Eve would never have been able to succumb to temptation because she never would have been able to make a choice to ignore God's will.
I think God did this because obedience and faith that is born of free will, that is from a choice to believe and adhere to the commandments is far more precious and rare than obedience and faith that is forced. He gave us the rules he wanted us to follow, he sent his Son to give us a reminder of those rules and provide an example of how to live them out, but in ALL of it, he never once took away our ability to choose differently. Maybe it would be easier if he had, because then we would all agree on everything and it would be sunshine and roses all day long.
But I have to say, I am grateful that he did not. I love a good debate, I love different ideas, I love creativity. I love how many different ways we find to express joy, sadness, anger, love, passion. I wish that more of us could recognize and respect that we were all created differently, and that we were all created with the ability to make our own choices. Free will is a God-given gift, it should be respected as such.
Which brings me finally to the news I was talking about. First, the easiest one (in my mind), is the debate surrounding same-sex marriage, and homosexual people in general. Whether you believe they choose their orientation or you believe they are created that way (I believe the latter), what you  have to respect is that no matter what, they are a creation of God, and like all of God's people, they have free will and choice. They can quite simply do whatever they like, and in the end that's between them and God. Our job, our sole responsibility, is to love them. We were not sent to fix them (they aren't broken, in my humble opinion). We are a far greater witness of the love of God if we extend that unconditional love, grace, and acceptance than if we spend our time telling them how wrong and awful they are. And very simply, regardless of your private morality and belief system, you have absolutely no right to force that on a person who does not believe it. So let the churches do what they want. As far as the government goes, these people are citizens and they deserve all the rights and privileges of citizenship, including the right to be married.
Secondly, and more complicated, is the debate around abortion. Right up front, I am pro-choice. I am not pro-abortion. I wish we lived in a world where abortions were never needed, where women never felt that they had to make such an awful decision. But the sad reality is, they happen. It is not a new phenomenon. And I, again, have no right to force my personal beliefs on another human being. And we cannot ignore the rights and decisions of the person who is actually here in favor of the potential person they are carrying.
So again, as a person who believes in God, and also respects the decision of my creator to give me free will and choice, I respect that He has done the same for all my fellow human beings. And the decisions those people make are between them and God. I will not judge them for that. (Or I will try very hard not to.) I will try to love them. To support them. To offer advice if it is asked for. I will not condemn them. Because I truly believe that if Jesus were walking around today, he would not be hanging around the Vatican. He wouldn't be chilling in my church's office. And I don't think he would be carrying a torch and pitchfork and going after gays and lesbians, or standing outside the abortion clinic with a sign. What would Jesus do? Think about it, and then go do the same. Thank God you have the ability to make the choice to do so.

What do you see?

"I like your Christ. I do not like  your Christians, they are so unlike your Christ."~Gandhi

We have been doing a series on major world religions in Church the last several weeks. Today we talked about Islam which is perhaps the thorniest of the world religions, at least in the current climate. The thing that has really stuck with me today was a story that our pastor relayed. He told us about a time when he was a youth pastor and he brought an Islamic man to talk to the youth about his faith. The man asked them what they see when he says that he is a Muslim. Nobody wanted to answer and finally one of the youth raised his hand and said that he sees a man with something wrapped around his head carrying an automatic weapon. I honestly believe that most people, especially here in America, have the same image.

My husband and I have been discussing this subject most of the afternoon and we both agree...this is not our image of Islam. For us, we see a people who are devout. We see people going about their daily lives: shopping, raising children, having conversations, praying. Mostly, we simply see people. What struck both of us though is when asked what we see when we think of Christians. Although both of us claim Christianity and we know many wonderful Christian people, that is not the image that we see. We see people like the Westboro Baptists, we see Jerry Falwell, we see white supremacists. We can easily see the hate, the fear, the hypocrisy of people who claim to follow Christ. And we can understand the view of Christianity that Gandhi had. And we can also understand that those groups and those people are a small minority that do not speak for all of us. And we can extend that grace and understanding to the people of Islamic faith. We accept that a small, violent, extreme faction does not represent the whole faith.

Do I agree with everything Islam preaches? No. But I recognize our common root, I recognize a common truth, just as I do with anyone who earnestly seeks to know God. For me, what is important is not how the belief is exercised or to whom an individual prays. What matters is that they seek truth, that they seek God, that they live out lives of love and peace and compassion. However God reveals Himself (Herself? Itself?) to that person is not important to me.

And what really is important, because it is part of my faith as a Christian, is that I follow the direction given to me by Jesus in Luke 10:27: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" I see no condition there that my neighbor must share my beliefs, or that my neighbor should look like me. All people, everywhere, are my neighbors, and sometimes I am not going to like what they do. But I have to remember the grace and forgiveness that was given me and extend that same grace and forgiveness to all people, everywhere. That is how I can love my neighbor and how I can best show God's love to them.

I fail sometimes. I am quick to judge. I am angry. I am unforgiving. I am ungracious and unloving. But I will always strive to recognize my mistakes and be again the example of God's love in the world. We all fall short of the glory of God. But through grace we are saved and redeemed, and again we go into the world to serve and to love. If we focus on the service, and on service born of love, we will be a more powerful voice and example of the love and grace of Jesus Christ in the world.  It is an ongoing goal, and place for growth, and challenge. Because I often fail. I fall short everyday. But I will try. I will speak up in love. I will defend my neighbor. I will provide a hand up. I will try.

My sincere hope and prayer is that all those who claim the Christian faith will do the same.