It was a rough day. I don't know exactly why, but I know that I was edgy, stressed and cranky from the time I woke up this morning. Brian tends to get the short end of that stick. Whenever I get stressed like that I have next to no patience with a kid who requires an awful lot of it.
I don't know what it is, it just seems like when I already feel stressed and over-taxed he comes along with a bundle of NEED. It seems like all day long it's just: I want, I need, MOM MOM MOM MOM!!! And it's simple stuff. He needs more water. He wants a snack. He wants to show me something. He got his head stuck in the armhole of his shirt and needs me to un-stick him. He's going outside again. He's coming inside because the leaf guys are here. Sometimes I love his constant status updates. They are often funny or interesting, but today. Oi.
And of course there's Teddy, who really is just a bundle of need. The last couple of days have been hard on him. It's been hot, even with the air on high most of the day. And he's got a little cold which has given him a stuffy nose which makes eating difficult. Plus the heat, so he gets fussy.
And then James gets home. And everyone needs me to make dinner. And James "needs" me to rub his feet and ankles, which I'm sure hurt from being on them all day. But after a day of being needed by everyone else in this house I just don't have a whole lot of energy to deal with his needs, too.
And I'm annoyed that nobody seems to be very interested in what I might need. After all, I did spend the day with two small children. That doesn't lend itself to individual pursuits very often. So after dinner, after my mother in law had left, after Brian was in bed and Teddy had been fed, I handed him off to his daddy and I took a trashy romance novel and I had a bath.
I'm not a big bath person. I think most of the time it's fairly silly to lay around in a tub and do nothing. I don't own bubble bath, or bath salts, or any of those things. I don't have the best tub in the world. But I have found that if I want to read or spend time undisturbed a bath is a great place to do it. So I took my trashy book and I laid there and relaxed. I read a few chapters, and when I got out Teddy was sleeping. And I feel a whole lot better.
I think maybe I can face tomorrow with a better attitude. All I really needed was a bath.
Sometimes we spend so much time dealing with everybody else we just need "me" time. I constantly tell Anthony I am doing this because I need it and nobody is looking out for me while I am looking out for everybody else. He gets the point then! Good for you for realizing you needed it! Get some great bubble bath I promise you will enjoy it:)
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